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Professor of Smurfology ...

Obtainer of rare smurftiquities ...

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Calvin-Crap! I'm caught in a spider web!

Come away with me ...

I have a terribly tragic story to tell. Terribly tragic. Like, small children and those easily driven to tears should avert their eyes. Not that small children should be reading my blog with how often I say "fuck" but that's beside the point.

I have no internet access at home. I KNOW! How can I go on?!?! Woe! *crumples dramatically and weeps* I'm going to be without it until Monday. MONDAY! It's like the world is telling me to get outside or get a life or something. I don't like it. I'm scared. Hold me.

In all seriousness, I don't know what's wrong with our connection. I swear that we paid the bill. I have a feeling that our modem just got fried and the technician is going to have to replace it. Oh, and the window they gave us for the tech to come by is from 8 AM to 7 PM. Dude, technician guy, you suck. You need an 11 hour window? Fuckers. All of them.

To make a long, tragic story short, I've been burning up the internet here at work today to soak it in so I don't go into withdrawal or something. I don't remember the last time I was offline for over 24 hours. I might end up stark raving mad and be one of those people you hear about on TV whose neigherbors are all "She was such a nice lady. We never expected this of her." Yeah.

Anyway. I have half an hour until I'm off work so I'd better not dally too long or I'll end up with a half-written post and an angry scowl.

Onto the books!
Book #282 - The Warlord's Secret by Lizzy Ford - Not a perfect book by any means but I was captivated by it. Don't ask. I can't explain it.
Book #283 - Misfit by Jon Skovron - I liked the book, I didn't like some of the stylistic choices the suthor made. Does that make sense?
Book #284 - Soulless (The Parasol Protectorate #1) by Gail Carriger - OMG! Loved it! I was all O.O as I was reading it. And there was laughing. Out loud. While I was alone. Yay!
Book Blogger Hop & Follow Friday - I put up a picture of a man who looks like he wants to juggle two chickens. I know. I know.
In My Mailbox (07/17/11) - The Oodles of free ebooks edition - Holy pancakes! I picked up a hell of a lot of books this week. *whimpers*

On this note, I leave you until at least Monday morning. If the world ends, somebody text me since I can't get my news form twitter until then.