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Professor of Smurfology ...

Obtainer of rare smurftiquities ...

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Calvin-Crap! I'm caught in a spider web!

I've never seen it written like that ...

I don't know if I've every mentioned this before (who am I kidding? I'm sure everyone knows about it!) but I have a terrible fear of spiders. It's debilitating, really. I can't even get close enough to the damn things to kill them. For a while it was getting better and I could kill them if no one else was available to take care of them, but things have gone downhill lately. I think it's because Cole's getting older and now I see him as a potential spider killer. It's like a survival technique or something. I don't know.

The point of this is that there was a big, bad ass Daddy Long Legs in my room today. Two, actually. I only knew about the one at first and it was BIG. And scary. And I don't care how tempted you are to tell me that Daddy Long Legs aren't dangerous and they're more afraid of me than I am of them, DON'T. It won't help. Okay? There's a reason it's an irrational fear. Telling me that they're not going to jump on my face and try to kill me won't help this fear IN THE LEAST! Even telling me that they won't try to jump on my face to hump me WON'T HELP! It's what I think when I see them up in the corners. Plotting. Thinking of ways to terrify me.


Anyway. I begged my mom to kill it but she laughed and told me to do it myself. She then proceeded to point out the other one hanging out in another corner of my room, effectively turning my brain into a pile of mush.

Now, I can't sleep with those things in here. I can't. Never mind that they had potentially been in here for AGES without me knowing about them. That's beside the point. Once I knew they were there, they couldn't be left.

When my begging and whining and groveling got me nowhere with my mom, I pulled out the vacuum cleaner to suck them up. What? I can't kill them with MY HANDS! What if I had a tissue out and I was getting ready to squish it and all of a sudden it moved and TOUCHED ME???!!!???!?!? No. Just, no.

So. Vacuum cleaner. Vacuum cleaner with the extra long sucking attachment. I was still cowering at the maximum allowed distance from the stupid things. But I got them. It took me a few minutes to build up to the actual suckage, but I got them.

Of course, then I was too afraid of them crawling out of the vacuum to turn it off. That just gave me the opportunity to vacuum up all the edges of the carpet. The places against the wall that the non-attachment can't reach. My room is freakishly clean around the edges now and it's spider free. I think. Oh, man! I hope it is!

My brain has been consumed with spider fear. I must go now. Tell me this isn't the most perfect icon EVER. I dare you.

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Oh you're so adorable I want to hug and squish you!! My husband is like you. His face would go white and won't move like if he's been paralized if he sees a spider. ANY spider!! Even the very tiny ones.. My son and I are the insect killers in the family. LOL. I don't like spiders, but I have no fear of them.

It's really funny how paralyzing a stupid fear like that can be. Intellectually, I know that the dumb thing can't hurt me but my body refuses to listen when I see them.

Irrational fears! Love 'em!

those poor daddy long legs. tsk tsk

POOR!?!?!?! No! Evil, monstrous beasts!

I can't sleep until I kill them either.

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